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the dog wants to snuggle - Because Nobody can eat 50 eggs
April 2007
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nyarhotep
nyarhotep
-- Mrkgnao! the cat cried.
Wed, Feb. 14th, 2007 10:43 pm
the dog wants to snuggle

ending books leaves me quiet. i try to play a clever game with the chapters. as i near the last 200 pages, i'll break my reading periods into smaller and smaller segments until i become truly desperate: reading only a page, or so, a day. but the pages dwindle; my will to sit and lovingly, reverently, slowly engage the reality falls to my need for the denouement. by the last 50, i can't stop. as soon as the final act is within sight, i frenzy and gulp the climax. everything ceases. i pull over to the side of the road in abandoned parts of town and read it in a single, car-light, eye-squinting, apoplexy. the windows fog, gas fumes eke their way into the cab and i bolt to the last line. i never read the the author's note or epilogue. i stop. i just sit in the noiseless car. in a noiseless world. it's quiet. the characters pad their way softly off-stage; the set blinks off, gas-light by gas-light; a stoic janitor stands in the wings waiting. sometimes, morals or longings echo in keystone archways, but that soon fades. and i'm left, quietly sitting, an emptied book in my lap. i tick the page corners with the pad of my index finger. they soundlessly flap. but, true to course, the quietude never lingers. around the edges, at first, a stray passerby; a mercurial, bestial grunt for food: and i think. i think away all the grottoes i just explored, all the subtexts i plumbed. i think away all the extrema i just read. all the adventures, sorrows, gaffes and guffaws suffocate in my thoughts as i, irrevocably, think away the story. that's why i hate ending books. i can't sit afterward and be quiet with them. i can't just let what happened stay tantalizingly in my mouth, savoring the wasabi vibrance - my gluttonous soda-thoughts always rush in and wipe out all nuances of the book. the momentary solitude, serenity vacate and the vacuum is brimmed and teaming once again. i entertain a hiccup moment of self-awareness while i think about not thinking into the quiet. shamefaced and reluctant, i wonder if the quiet ever really existed. that is, of course, until the next book - the next grail quest. the next frenzied attempt to hold the quiet after finishing a book

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toreinne
Toreinne
Thu, Feb. 15th, 2007 08:10 am (UTC)

Things like this is why I love you. =)


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iamlove
iamlove
Nate, chrysalis, SCPHT, etc.
Mon, Feb. 19th, 2007 06:29 pm (UTC)

This reminds me that I need to make more time to meditate...to quiet the restless mental noise that infects our peace of mind, to enter that quiet - it is unfortunate that in this culture, quiet is not valued...we think that if something isn't happening, something loud, something active, then we are wasting time. But that couldn't be farther from the truth. When we take the time to sit here with our being, taking out our soul and looking at it, is there really a better way to spend one's time?


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(Anonymous)
Sat, Jun. 30th, 2007 03:14 pm (UTC)
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Excelent information. Best wishes.





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(Anonymous)
Thu, Jul. 12th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
This offence is even !Love ti love it love it!

Awesom cant wait to share with the world my exictment on new Harry Potter movie! Recomended highly!


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(Anonymous)
Tue, Jul. 31st, 2007 06:23 pm (UTC)
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Thu, Apr. 10th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
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